We throw around terms like "new beginnings", "change", "growth", "adventure" like it's supposed to make fear and anxiety instantly go away. Yes new beginnings are fun and exciting...just not at first. I like the concept of change until it actually has to happen. I forget the scariness of it...and that to me it's one of the hardest things life has to offer even though it does eventually bring new opportunities that come with rewards and excitement. We just have to get over that initial speed bump. I've never been very good at goodbyes. In fact, I tend to avoid them and the heartache associated with it. However, I have come to realize that change is necessary.
Life is what we make it.
It's about the the things we learn,
the people we meet,
and the memories we make along the way...
But the only way to make anything happen is to get out there and take the first step.
Adventures are scary.
New places are lonely.
Being away from family and friends is hard.
I've been thinking a lot about what my dreams are and where I want them to take me. I had two choices: stay where I'm at (in Boise) where I'm happy, content...things really are great!!!...but I would always wonder "what if". Metaphorically speaking I don't want to be like Tangled's Repuzel, locked in a tower (say my brain full of stale dreams and thoughts) wondering "when my life is going to begin..."
Life really is an adventure! It's easy to dream big but it's another thing to run after it. I've been so lucky to have true friends who believe in me, and encourage me on a consistent basis. Who tell me to not be scared, that it's going to be ok, etc... I know I have a support system back home and that makes me feel safe enough to leave, which is a first. I know things won't crumble, and I know I have a place to go back to where people love me for who I am.
This gives me courage,
confidence,
independence,
security
...and so much more.
So here I am, in Moscow, Idaho about to attend classes at the University of Idaho. I admit it's not easy. The last few days have been hard: I've been homesick. But I know that good things lie ahead. I know there is a plan bigger than me and perfectly set out by the One who loves me more than I can imagine. I am excited for the things Moscow holds for me over the next few months, and I am excited for the trips back home for Spring Break and maybe a 3-day-weekend....if I'm lucky!
I'm ready to experiment, I'm ready to learn, and I'm ready to be more outgoing!! This won't be the road I'm on forever. But I can't stand at the starting line anymore...it's time to race and drive through the obstacles at full speed and full of faith!!!
(and 8 is the number that symbolizes new beginnings so I really wanted to finish this post before midnight today on January 8th...success!)
